


Echo

by Gobetti



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Depression, M/M, Sadstuck, post scratch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-23
Updated: 2012-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-30 01:10:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/326099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gobetti/pseuds/Gobetti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were all kids once.</p><p>But now they were all alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Echo

**Author's Note:**

> Request by love-everlasting-cruelgoddess: "a small ficlet based on the song "Echo" by Jason Walker with the pairing of John/Karkat".
> 
> Not-so-small ficlet, yes.
> 
> Listen to the song to know where the inspiration to this fic came from.

After three years, three whole years, you finally meet.

You hug John when the time comes, even if a bit half-heartedly, while the boy hugs you back with all the strength he can muster. You realize that his so called “mangrit” must’ve amplified with the years, because the boy looks a bit bulkier and a lot bigger, the curves of his face and shoulders not so soft and delicate anymore, and though he’s still the funny, cheerful main optimist of the group, he’s not so much of a kid anymore.

None of you are, really.

You all stopped being kids the moment you started playing the game, Sburb and Sgrub alike, and the humans know it too, though it wasn’t so painfully obvious until now.

With the addition of five more people from the ship – _five_ , because John _literally_ punched you in the face when you didn’t count his nanna, Jaspers, the cat, and the feathery asshole as an addition of their team (the original Dave, you notice, looks downright shocked when John reacts that way, while Jade glares at you, a glare so fucking intense you swear that she’s trying to burn holes through your head. The sprites, on the other hand, all react differently: the blue ghost that is John’s grandmother reprehends him for hurting you, and you can see that she doesn’t really mean it because she drops the subject almost immediately, even though John doesn’t apologize for it; Jaspers floats over to the both of you and wraps himself around John’s ankles, purring and giggling happily, only to flee and run towards Rose a moment later, rubbing his furry cheek against her face; and _Davesprite_... Davesprite simply _smiles_ , a smile so cheerful and truthful, you’re kind of shocked for a moment, because you’ve never seen a similar expression on Dave’s face) – you realize that you have to make concessions. The first (and the last, _you swear to god_ ) thing you give up is your private respiteblock, the one and only room you had to yourself, where you had your blessed privacy, where you could find peace and quietness on the end of a hectic day… and even though it’s hard, it’s also painfully obvious that squishing three or four people inside one of the other cubicles you’re all sleeping in is just not an option when there’s a perfectly good, spacious, nearly-empty respiteblock in your premises.

You give yourself the privilege of choosing who you’ll share it with, though.

And obviously, friendleaders gotta stick together.

John smiles at you, agreeing with your decision, and drags up an old, mushy mattress from inside the golden ship all the way to your respiteblock, dropping it on the floor against a wall with a loud _thump_. After settling in, he makes a snarky comment about your “ _glow in the dark bed_ ”, but you’re way too tired to talk and both of you fall asleep almost instantly.

And despite his state of constant exhaustion, John wakes up in the middle of the night practically every night.

From the holes inside your recuperacoon you watch as the boy trashes and turns in his sleep until he finally sits up, looking around the darkened room with empty, half-lidded eyes, as if trying to find _something_.

“… _dad?_ ” he whispers wearily, and his low, broken voice echoes throughout the metal walls of the room, which only makes the whole scene that much worse.

When no one answers, the puny human frowns, hugs himself, and curls up into a ball, turning towards the wall like a wounded animal, scooting closer and closer to it as if he was trying to fuse with it, to become one with the cold steel and disappear from this world, shaking with grief the entire time.

And every single time, Davesprite comes out of nowhere and bolts into the room, opening the door – never, _ever_ crossing the walls, even though you know he could – and floating straight towards John. He holds the boy closer to his body and hides him completely with his intact wing, as if protecting his friend from the outer world. Sometimes John just stays there, back turned to the sprite’s chest, but there are a few days when he turns around and clings onto Dave almost desperately, almost as if he was his lifeline, the only thing keeping him sane and safe, and Davesprites shooshes him and rocks John’s body back and forth until he’s calmed down. Soon enough they’re both fast asleep, and it’s only then that you manage to close your eyes, trying to relax, feeling a warm, sticky pity bubbling up inside your chest cavity.

These little shows only make you hate that stupid doomed Dave even more than the regular one.

Some other days are worse. _Way_ worse. Some other days John wakes up, calling for his dad with a lot more vigor, completely forgetting you’re in the same room as he is, and the walls reverberate his calling and his pleas with double the normal intensity. He doesn’t even bother trying to go to sleep again afterwards; he crouches on the mattress and weeps over his knees, and you can tell he’s not even trying to be quiet anymore. When Davesprite flies into the room, rushing over to his side, the human doesn’t even look up before throwing his arms around Dave’s neck, muffling his pitiful sobs in the soft, orange feathers, while Dave whispers comforting words into his black hair in return, rubbing his back with soothing little circles and petting his head with his other hand.

John rarely goes back to sleep these nights. Instead, he clings onto Davesprite until he stops crying, and they both talk in hushed tones, only waiting for the alarm clock to go off. The exception is whenever he passes out with fatigue and falls asleep over the fluffy feathers on his friend’s neck.

Davesprite, one of these days, turned his head towards your recuperacoon, and though you weren’t sure for a second if he had seen you watching them both – it was hard to tell because of those ridiculously stupid orange shades – he nodded once before resting his cheek over John’s head again and falling asleep.

You really weren’t sure of how you felt about the doomed coolkid after that.

 

\---

 

When you find John sitting all alone on the edge of the roof, you’re not surprised. You sit down next to him and look at him from the corner of your eye, but he still doesn’t move or make any signals to acknowledge your presence. You take a deep breath and sigh, slowly and loudly.

After about half an hour of silence, John speaks.

“I’m all alone, Karkat.” He whispers into the abyss, and you turn your head to look at him, even though he just keeps staring at his own knees.

“No, you’re not.” You tell him, looking forward into the great, black nothingness. “You have me, Jade, Rose, Dave, Dave’s orange doomed self, even your weird stupid human old woman lusus in sprite form. You have all of us, John. And we all care a great deal about you.” This elicits a small, weak chuckle from John. The boy nods, smiling softly though sadly, as if understanding your point. You look back at him, studying his expression. “This is about your human lusus, isn’t it.”

John looks even further down, chin touching his chest, and you can see his limbs trembling a bit. It takes him a couple of minutes in silence to come up with anything to say.

“When… Earth was still a thing that existed…” he says, slowly, as if enunciating the words stings; you don’t doubt it. “...it was just me and my dad. It was just the two of us against the world. We lived alone in that huge house, and even though we kind of were a small, broken family… we were happy. And I knew that, as long as I had my dad, everything would be fine.”

A bright, pearly tear rolls down his cheek, and he sighs softly.

“I still can’t believe that he’s not here. It just doesn’t feel real. Sometimes I call him out, in the dark, and I always, _always_ think that he’ll answer me… but all I get back is the hollow echo of my words.” John then brings up his knees to his chin and hugs himself. He looks a lot like a child like this, despite his already somehow advanced age. You scoot a little closer to him and wrap both arms around his bundled up frame. He doesn’t fight it or make any complaints, so you relax a little.

“I’m all alone, Karkat.” John says against the fabric of his pants, waving his head a bit. “I know that I have you guys, and I am more than grateful for that, I mean, I can never thank you guys enough for all the company and all the support you’re giving me, but… it’s just not the same. In the end, I really am all alone.” And he shuts his eyelids tightly, letting a few more tears roll down his cheek. “…we all are.”

You don’t say anything. Instead, you get closer still, using your whole body to hug him as you rest your head against his shoulder. Shyly, he leans against you as well, hiding half of his face in your black hair. Finally he lets out a sob, and you feel him shaking beneath your arms, shivering as if he was cold. You tighten the hug and close your eyes, taking deep, shallow breaths that are really not doing the trick for you.

“Please don’t let me go, Karkat. Just… _please_.” He whispers, and you almost feel like crying yourself.

“ _Never_.”

 

 

 _Hello, hello  
Anybody out there?  
'Cause I don't hear a sound  
Alone, alone  
I don't really know where the world is_

 _but I miss it now._

\-   ** _Echo_ , by Jason Walker**


End file.
